Nothing can get a couple geared up for a night of romance more than a nice dinner, a few cocktails and a burlesque show. It doesn’t matter if you think of it as a “Hallmark holiday,” burlesque performers often pull out all the stops for their V-day shows. Let’s face it, romance (with a healthy dose of lust) is the foundation upon which burlesque was built and nothing makes a performer happier than seeing happy couples up front canoodling with their significant other while they watch them perform. That shows the dancer that they’re fulfilling their duty of raising the temperature in the room and sending folks off for a night of passion.

Here’s our picks for your burlesque Valentine’s Day, all are taking place on V-Day proper: Thursday, February 14!

Seattle, Washington

Hard Love: Valentine’s Day with Stripped Screw Burlesque – Make a date with Seattle’s Twisted Troupe this Valentine’s Day! Stripped Screw presents an evening of dark and comedic burlesque featuring new and favorite acts from the Screws. Walk the tightrope with Violet Tendencies, help Kutie LaBootie hit a hot note, taste some of Stella D’Letto’s honey, get swept away by Seraphina Fiero and enjoy the buzz brought to you by Lady Drew Blood! The special guest this evening is Lusty Zinns, the Paragon of Poledance and delectable cast member of Seattle Erotic Arts Show’s 10th Anniversary performance!

SCANDALS ON BROADWAY! – Dearest fans of Seattle’s aerial/burlesque icon Tamara The Trapeze Lady. She’s baaaaack and bringing along a few of her fancy friends! Consider this your destination for Valentine’s Day lust and pleasure with some of Tamara’s most treasured cohorts and pet performers including the loverly aerial whippersnapper SUSY QUEUE. Her act for this show was inspired by the great film star Esther Williams and a scene from the Walt Disney film “Bedknobs and Broomsticks.” Also performing will be PIDGEON VON TRAMP (formerly of the title-winning Von Foxies Burlesque troupe); singer, accordionist and drunken clown extraordinaire GUS CLARK is taking a night off from his duties as member of God’s Favorite Beefcake and Nu Klezmer Army to join in the revelry; BETTY RAGE will bring a marriage of drag and classic American sideshow that will twist your mind; burlesque starlette, BOOM BOOM L’ROUX will perform and, of course, Seattle’s original aerial socialite TAMARA “THE TRAPEZE LADY” will show off her multi-tasking skills as host and entertainer.

West Side Glory Valentine’s Day Special – A special Valentine’s Day edition of West Seattle’s Queer Variety Show. This one is jam-packed with talent and fun featuring new and returning performers. Plus – GoGo Bears! Skylark will be featuring romantic dinner specials, such as spaghetti and meatballs so you can recreate that scene from “Lady & The Tramp.” Awwww.

San Francisco, California

Hypnodrome Hot Coma – It’s the next big thing at The Hypnodrome! Starting Valentine’s Day they’ll kick off their 2013 season with a series of three special events called Hypnodrome Hot Coma. Each night includes: Aphrodisiac Tastings from sexologist Magnus Hirschfeld presented by Mel Gordon and Cockettes Songs from Scrumbly Koldewyn and the cast members of “Tinsel Tarts in a Hot Coma.” Also, Cockettes Onstage Interviews with ReSearch Publications founder V. Vale, “Sweet Pam” Tent and Bambi Lake.

Santa Cruz, California

What is Erotic? ~ Forces of Nature – What is Erotic?” is dedicated to fostering openness around sex in an annual curated theatre arts show. The 418 Project invites artists, housewives and politicians alike to answer one provocative question: “What is Erotic?” This event is both a titillating performance arts show, as well as a safe space for exploration, education, and self expression of sexuality and relationship — by combining personal development with creative expression.

San Diego, California

Drop Dead Dames Burlesque Revue Presents: Sweethearts and Swing – Join Queen Bee’s Art and Cultural Center this Valentines Evening for a night of great music, dancing, and burlesque like you have never seen it before!  The night will begin with swing dancing from 7:00pm-8:30pm Then the Drop Dead Dames invite YOU to be their Valentine while they perform their set at 8:30pm. More swing dancing following the burlesque until midnight.

Fargo, North Dakota

Bad Weather Burlesque in Conjunction with the 8th Annual Erotic Art Show – The eighth annual Visual Erotic Art Exhibition will be at DK Framing this year followed by a burlesque show featuring Fargo’s favorite scantily clad guys and dolls. Also keep an ear out for some Spoken Word Poetry from Christine Hoper and Friends at The New Direction below DK Framing.

New York, New York

Gotham Burlesque’s Valentine’s Show – GOTHAM BURLESQUE is an exciting evening of song, dance, tricks and visual treats that plays each month with a different cast at the Upper West Side venue STAGE 72 (formerly The Triad Theater), offering audiences a taste of a wide range of live entertainments from both established and up and coming performers and acts. Their extra-special Valentine’s Day Show will feature performances by HARVEST MOON (The Sultry Siren of Burlesque), BB HEART (Miss Coney Island), MADAME ROSEBUD (Burlesque’s Girl who fell from Earth), SHELLY WATSON (The Vixen of Vocal Virtuosity), MISS SATURN (Revolutionary Hula-Hoop Artist), DANGRRR DOLL (The Twisted Beauty of New York City) and THE NYC BURLESQUE CHOIR. Plus, the show will be hosted by your favorite master of ceremonies BASTARD KEITH!

Dark Carnival Burlesque presents…”The Valentine Show”! – Bring your sweetheart or swing it solo to this carnal delight of beautiful misfits and oddities, to watch us reveal the bizzare side of courtly love (no we did not say “Courtney”!). Hosted by The Góthic Hangman himself along with his Mistress in Mischief, Ms Kat Mon Dieu. Starring jawdropping Juliet Jeske, buxom Broadway Brassy, mysterious Magic Max, rambunctious Ruby Solitaire, puddin’-lovin’ Poison Ivory, lovely Leta LeNoir and partner in crime Bruno Puntz Jones! With the kitten stylings of the Italian Mistress, Lucille Ti Amore as that li’l devil “Cupid”! Comedy! Burlesque! Magic! Candy! Raunchy ballads! Blood! Fetishes! Prizes! and of course…Buckets of Love!

Hoboken, New Jersey

The Kolo Klub Presents: BURLESQUE! – Head on over to the Kolo Klub in Hoboken, on Thursday for The Blue Vipers of Brooklyn and a jaw dropping burlesque show! Your ticket gets you in to the Valentine’s show you do not want to miss!

Washington DC

Naked Girls Reading DC Presents Love Bites – Who needs chocolate and flowers when you can have tall, dark and sexy vampire stories? DC’s official Naked Girls return to bring a new twist to the monotony of Valentine’s Day outings with “Love Bites, a Vampire Valentine.” With fang dropping appeal our lovely ladies will read stories of mesmerizing eyes, rapid pulses and truly eternal love or heartbreak. Cherokee Rose, is delighted to return to Little Miss Whiskey’s in DC for this special Valentine’s Day performance with the alluring Roma Mafia, Gigi Holliday and Cherie Sweetbottom to entertain, seduce and even educate you.

Columbia, South Carolina

Henderson Bros. Burlesque – This year TRUSTUS Theatre teams up with WHAT’S LOVE to present The Henderson Bros. Burlesque – a sexy, bawdy night of live music, dance and song that will stir up whatever strikes your fancy ass! Highlighted will be a cast of more than twenty performers including a live band with brass, a male pole dancer, costumes, feathers and frivolity. In the Side Show Lounge guests will have a cocktail or two before the show and be entertained by a cast of characters with magic, card readings and other things to tempt. There will also be a peep show for those who dare. Additional options for the evening include a private four course dinner with chef Kristian Niemi. There is also a special Get Lucky Package that can be purchased that will show your partner what real love is.