Grab a drink and some snacks, then sit yourself down because it’s time for a story. We have a wide variety of stories for you to choose from today. We’ve got classics, history, mythology and science fiction! And all of it comes with a healthy amount of glitter and sex appeal!

New York, New York

Friday, April 12 | William Shakespeare’s Bardlesque For the first chapter of this saga we present to you Shakespeare in the tune of burlesque. This production was put together as a combination of Miss Mary Cyn’s joint loves of Shakespeare and burlesque. “I just ****ing LOVE Shakespeare” she tells me. “I think it’s really emotionally rich and fun and visceral and sexy, much like burlesque.” And this love has put together a heck of a show. Miss Mary Cyn will share the stage for the evening with Nasty Canasta (2nd Runner Up at the 2010 Miss Exotic World Pageant), Schaffer the Darklord, Rita Menweep, Iris Explosion, Scot Ferra and Michael Villiastrigo, as well as the host for the evening,  Peter Aguero.

“Soliloquies will be stripped to, familiar scenes will escalate to new, naked, heights and the bard’s most beloved characters will strut and fret their way into your heart, mind, and chief reproductive organ.”

Seattle, Washington

Wednesday, May 1 and Thursday, May 2 | Indiana Bones and the Lips of Destiny: A Burlesque Adventure! Chapter Two brings us to a story that is a little more contemporary but just as classic. Inspired by a dream and brewed up be the same minds that brought you “The Last Burlesque Show You’ll Ever See,” Indiana Bones is narrative driven show featuring Kutie La Bootie, Lady Drew Blood, Flirty Sanchez, Nikola Tease-la, Blithe Nite, Eva Fairwood and Alexa Perplexa.

“When a fortune teller, with unusual methods, played by Stripped Screw Burlesque‘s Kutie La Bootie, sends Dr. Bones (Kesan Holt) and his sidekick (Sara Dipity) on an adventure to find the Lips of Destiny he encounters such mystical marvels as the Fountain of Youth and the Lost Tomb of Aphrodite. Will Dr. Bones uncover the clues necessary to find the Lips of Destiny? Or will villainess Lady Drew Blood (Stripped Screw Burlesque) succeed in her plan to take down our rugged hero and claim the Lips as her own?”

San Francisco, California

Saturday, May 11 through Saturday, June 1 | Rebel Without a Bra: A Burlesque Cabaret Chapter Three of our story is the history of burlesque itself. The producer/performer, Red Velvet, tells me that the show was inspired by an interest in “burlesque history and the struggles and the inspirations of the women in burlesque that came before us.” The show will take the audience through the history of burlesque and society’s reaction to it, from the can can to modern neo-burlesque. Your host for the evening will be Sean Owens, in multiple guises, representing various eras of burlesque history.  Featuring performances by If-N’-Whendy, Red Velvet, Bunny Von Tail, Josie Starre, Shimmies Galore and Angelica Zanpatin-Solis.

Story telling without people telling stories is like milk and cookies without milk or cookies. Not only is it not the same thing, it’s not anything! So it would be irresponsible to not include Naked Girls Reading in this list.

Chicago, Illinois

Friday, April 26 | Naked Girls Reading presents “MYTHOLOGY” Greek mythology will be one of the things on display this evening in Chicago, the birthplace of Naked Girls Reading. Among the presenters are Michelle L’amour, creator of Naked Girls Reading along with founding member, Greta Layne, Honey Halfpint and more.

“The gods will surely smile as we regale you with tales of debauchery, mayhem and a little morality.”

New York, New York

Friday, April 26 | M presents Princess Pussywhip! Fairy Tales Gone Wild The main event for this night will be the party but burlesque, along with other delights, will be featured during this monthly, themed, costumed, dance, party! The producer says that she is “super-excited for the “Fairy Tales Gone Wild” theme, because we can really go nuts on costumes, and I love taking a wholesome idea & making it a little naughty.” This is going to be a night you will not want to miss out on.

Seattle, Washington

Sunday, April 14 | Naked Girls Reading Goes West “Naked Girls Reading returns to the Northwest cabaret scene after a long hiatus with a celebration of the West! From Sunset Magazine to dime store Westerns, the Naked Girls are ready to celebrate the best coast with some of their favorite stories about how the west was won. Regular readers Jesse Belle-Jones and Polly Wood are joined by new addition Sailor St. Claire and special guest Nikola Tease-la. Elsa Von Schmaltz will don her finest cowboy boots to host the evening and wrangle the fine fillies on this literary nude ranch!”

Austin, Texas

Friday, May 17 | Naked Girls Reading SciFi.  Naked alien girls and selections of classic science fiction read by GlamAmour, Ruby Lamb, Something Blue, Dolce Dream, DoubleDown Dixie and Zaftig Von BonBon.  “be prepared for some far out science fiction/science fact, Steampunk, classic sci-fi and more!”