Statistically speaking, those who predict the end of the world have a very poor track record. And December 21, 2012 is probably not the going to be the final day of existence for this universe. But who wants to take that chance? If the world is going to end, don’t you want to be out there enjoying it one last time?

With that in mind, here are is a list of apocalyptic burlesque shows to brighten up the Earth’s catastrophic destruction!

Seattle, Washington

Friday, December 7 | An Alumni Spectacular: The End of the World As We Know It! “The planet will shake, the heavens will open up & your knees will tremble as The Academy Of Burlesque brings you ‘THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT!'”

Los Angeles, California

Thursday, December 20 | Apocalypto The Awakening This is La Muerte Vive’s newest “rock opera-meets-cabaret” starring Santos de Los Angeles, the Player St. Orchestra and Miss Ruby Champagne. This once in a lifetime special event is presented by La Muerte Vive and will be hosted by Apocalypto Tequila and the Los Angeles Brewing Company.”

Phoenix, Arizona

Thursday, December 20 | Armageddon Nekked “Gather at what could be your final opportunity to gawk at ecdysiasts, laugh at low brow, become charmed by our chanteuse and marvel at the wonders of sideshow feats. Before midnight we raise our glasses to toast a good life and then share a hand basket to hell if the end of days predictions are to be true.”

Friday, December 21 | End Of Days Cabaret: WRATH OF THE MAYAN CALENDAR!! “The End of Days Cabaret strikes again! WRATH OF THE MAYAN CALENDAR is set in place for Dec. 21st and will be a ruckus spectacle of the grandest kind!!”